Holiday Projections

Thanksgiving and Christmas are supposed to be times of great love, peace, and joy. Yet for so many of us, these winter holidays are actually a time of great stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. Much of this is caused by our perception of how things should be and the subsequent projection of that perception onto the holidays. Let me elaborate.

Have you ever been reminiscing with a friend or family member about a past experience only to realize that he or she remembers it totally differently than you do? You may wonder if this person was even there with you. This is because our eyes are not just lenses, they are also projectors. We look at every situation and project our beliefs onto it. Our brains were designed to use comparison to remember. It would take more disc space to store everything we see and all the experiences we have as new documents so, instead, our brain stores new things with past ideas that seem similar, in the same file, so to speak. For instance when you walk into a new restaurant, your brain immediately begins scanning and storing. You may think something like: this restaurant smells cleaner, feels more cheerful, has better service, and serves fresher food than the last restaurant I was in. This information is then placed in the restaurant file in your brain.

Similarly, when we approach a situation involving family members we tend to project past files onto that situation. A past file may tell you that your brother always puts you down; so if he makes any comment at all, you read it as a put down. If you have always previously felt judged by your mother, you may feel uncomfortable doing anything in her presence. Even if she really isn’t judging, you perceive it that way and project that belief onto the situation.

It is important to note that our perceptions are not right or wrong, they simply are. Think of them as a pair of glasses you put on. The lenses of these glasses are made up of a number of things, including:
• the experiences we’ve had in our lives
• our family beliefs about the way the world is or what is appropriate
• the culture we were raised in
• the things that we value
• our dreams and desires
• the extent of our education
• our awareness of the world around us

So, how can we make the holidays truly a time of love, peace, and joy? I believe we need to recognize that much of what we are experiencing is our perception of the situation. Then we can ask: Could I be wrong about this? Could I look at this differently? How can I change my thoughts or feelings to make this a more positive situation? We can then focus on changing our own feelings about the situation we’re in or the people we’re interacting with.

Beyond being conscious of the fact that we project our past experiences onto the present, there are a number of techniques we can use to change the way we look at life. Here are a few exercises I have put together:

• Visualize a situation in a new way using these steps:
1. Think and plan out how you would like a situation or interaction to go.
2. Imagine that you are the Director of this Great Movie.
3. Find a place and a time where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
4. Sit comfortably with your limbs uncrossed.
5. Close your eyes.
6. Take some deep breaths.
7. Imagine yourself full of love.
8. See yourself walking into the situation.
9. Approach the person or situation you struggle with.
10. See the interaction happening in the positive way you have planned.
11. Feel it, remember you are filled with love.
12. Bask in this new feeling for a couple of minutes.
13. When you feel done with this visualization, come back to the present.
14. Open your eyes.
15. Repeat this process as many times as you need to feel comfortable before the actual event.

• Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT is an excellent method for changing your beliefs. Google it and learn about tapping points. Then tap out the negative beliefs you want to let go and tap in the new beliefs you want to adopt in your life.

• Do a Power Pose.
1. Click here to watch Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk on the value of power poses.
2. Choose the superhero stance that makes you feel the most powerful.
3. Stand in this pose for 2 minutes. As you stand, breathe deeply and feel the power surge through you.
4. Repeat positive I AM statements about yourself with force and meaning. Some examples of I AM statements are: I am powerful, I AM loved, and I AM at peace with my life just as it is. It’s even more powerful if you say them to yourself as you look in the mirror. If it’s impossible to be verbal, simply say them silently to yourself.

• Ask for Angels.
In prayer, ask for angels to go ahead of you to the event you are concerned about and prepare it to be a place of unconditional love.

• Create Space for Change.
Allowing your past beliefs about a situation or a person to determine what happens in the next encounter prevents change. Create a space in your thoughts for things to change. Believe that situations and people can change.

• Find a great Rapid Eye Technician and schedule a Rapid Eye Therapy session. To schedule a session with me, visit this site’s “Ask a Question” tab and send me a message. There’s also information about my programs under the “Programs” tab.

My desire for you this holiday season is that through your awareness you will begin to see how much your perceptions and projections affect your interactions and that you will take the opportunity to look differently at the holidays and make this season one of love, joy, and peace.

Best Wishes,  Lorana

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. ~~Wayne Dyer.