Healing Takes Time

in Home Featured May 1, 2015 451

We live such fast-paced lives. When we want to know something, we Google it, and the answer is instantly on our screens. We eat fast-food, drive fast cars, live life in the fast lane…but sometimes, living at breakneck speed, we forget that many good things take time, including healing our painful experiences.

Think about the time it takes to heal a cut on your finger. The pain begins when you slice you finger, cutting up carrots for example. It bleeds, it hurts, it puts an end to whatever else you’re doing at the time because a cut requires some action. I hope that action includes cleaning the wound, applying antibiotic ointment, and bandaging it to keep out germs. For the first day or so, a severe cut may inhibit our hand movements. Over time, it just hurts a bit. After about a week, the cut is still healing but causes no pain. Then one day, you look at your finger and realize that all that is left of the cut, if anything is left, is a tiny scar. There is no way to speed this process. We cannot “microwave” our finger to get it healed faster.

There are events that hurt us, even break our hearts, wounds that cannot be seen on the outside, but are as painful as any visible wound. Just as we must allow a physical finger-cut to mend, we must also allow our hearts go through the healing process. Sometimes, rather than allow an inner wound to heal, we stuff the pain deep inside so that no one else knows it is there. But if we don’t acknowledge pain and take steps toward healing, it will eat away at us in other ways. There are many great books that discuss the ways that emotional pain hurts our physical bodies. One of my favorites is: Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K. Truman. In this book she discusses the physical effects of emotional pain and provides insight into the healing process.

Just as we would take the time to clean a cut finger, treat it with antibiotic ointment, and bandage it to promote healing, we must also take the time and steps required to heal our broken hearts. So how do we go about doing that? Here are some suggestions that may be helpful. Prayerfully pick and choose the things that you feel will be of greatest benefit to you.

A huge part of emotional healing is acknowledging feelings. Imagine what would happen if, in the example above, you ignored your sliced finger and just kept cutting vegetables. Even if you pretended it didn’t happen, the wound would continue to bleed and make a huge mess of your cooking project. When we ignore our emotional hurts, they don’t just go away. They continue to bleed into our sub-conscious. The hurt remains, buried until something digs it up and we feel the emotions anew.
Speak about it, share your pain with someone. Choose a friend or family member you can trust to listen and let you process the feelings you are going through. When we share, we empty the thoughts that are stuck in our heads and often get new insights about how we can move forward or what we need to let go of next.
Write. Purchase a healing journal. It doesn’t have to be beautiful or fancy, just something you can use to empty all the thoughts from your head and feelings from your heart. Your writing doesn’t even have to be legible. This is not some fancy diary your grandchildren will quote from in church; it is for you, a way to process what you are feeling. If you are concerned about other people reading it then, when you are done writing, rip it up or burn it. Writing is a wonderful way to let your feelings flow out of your body through a pen.
Reading books about healing can provide examples of others who have survived similar emotional trauma. Books may contain tips and methods for healing emotional wounds. Remember though, this is an individual thing, a single book may not have the answers for everyone. As you study, ask yourself: is this is what I personally need? Be prayerful about it. The suggested reading here on my website lists books that were especially helpful to me.
Seeking advice from a professional counselor is can be very beneficial. Counselors have been trained to assist you in your healing process.
Speak to your priesthood leader. He can receive inspiration to guide you and can also give you a blessing of comfort to help you get through your difficulties.
I love emotional and energy healing techniques. There are many wonderful methods out there. Rapid Eye Technology, the form of healing I facilitate, is an amazing tool for letting go of pain. Again, be prayerful in your selection of methods and practitioners. Be sure they work in spiritual light.
The key to healing, and what all of these other suggestions are designed to help you do, is giving your pain and hurt to Jesus Christ. He is our Savior, and has already suffered all of our pain, struggles, and disappointment through the atonement. When we are willing to give our trauma to Him, the burden is lifted from us. If you have a hard time knowing how to do this, follow the Giving it to Christ: A Visualization post.
Another great way to understand and use the Atonement of Christ is by using the 12 Steps originally used by Alcoholics Anonymous. Colleen Harrison’s book He Did Deliver Me From Bondage is a great guide to using the 12 Steps. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Addiction Recovery Program is another 12 step group I have really enjoyed. There are also many other groups out there that now use these 12 Steps, addend several meeting and see which one suits you and then attend regularly. These steps are a great guide, and can teach us how use the Atonement of Christ on a day to day basis.

Many other things can and will help you heal, but these are some of the things that I used in my healing process. Remember, too, to be patient. Healing takes time.

When divorce came to my life, healing began with the extrication of myself and my children from our previous lifestyle. We left our farm, friends, dreams and aspirations, and moved to another city so I could take a job that would financially support us. As I look back, I see that we were living in a deep fog, we could just barely see how to put one foot in front of another. Day by day, as I worked through my pain with the tools I have suggested to you, that fog slowly lifted. Then, one day I realized there was some sunshine in my life again! As time passed, more and more of the pain lifted, replaced with more and more sunshine. I now see that my “cut” has healed. Yes, there are some scars that can still be seen in my life and the lives of my children. But the pain is gone. And I have learned this: Healing takes time.